TOUGH TOPICS

How do I handle toddler tantrums in public places?

My 4 year old has been recently throwing tantrums at the market for candy and it's really embarrassing so I just give in and buy her the candy. I don't want others to judge me so I give in but I know it's not the right thing to do. I would love some help on what i can do to stop these!

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Roberta posted September 30

My son used to do that too, so what I did was: I got down to his level and said a firm "No, this is not ok. We will reward you when we get home if this behavior stops."Then when we got home, I would give him two options to choose from that I am ok with him doing (generally it's- get to choose any book you want me to read OR choose any outdoor spot you want me to play with you on). 0 Likes
BE

Benita posted September 30

Maybe you can try giving her other options to choose from in the store, or not walking her through the sweet isles at all. You can even try telling her that "we are only here for food today but next time we come, you can choose 1 thing" before you walk into the store. that's helped me before! 0 Likes
SG

Sheila posted October 4

Kids throw tantrums because they want attention. But you could try and work on this by setting up expectations each time before going to the market so that she knows ahead of time. For example, you can have a chat with her before you leave the house and say "When we are at the market we might see candy. It’s fine to look at them but we won’t be buying any today.” And maybe while you are there you can try and distract her by getting her involved with your grocery shopping so she may even forget about candy. And you could even bring a snack from home that you know she really likes with you so that she doesn't want the store candy in the end.

Being prepared in this way may help in managing her tantrums, but whatever you do try and not give in to what she wants. She'll just continue to scream louder and longer next time. It may take some time to make such an adjustment and tantrums will happen, but remember to stay calm and have her take deep breaths. You could even sit somewhere quiet and take deep breaths together. Good luck!
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Yael posted October 8

Distract your child. Give him something he/she likes and move on. I used to give them gummy bears. I still do in my daycare when a child has a tantrum.They will stop most of the time. 0 Likes
KJ

Kessha posted October 8

As moms we have to be firm with our children and giving in now is not an option so yes it can be embarrassing and I apologize to the people around me that but I also let them know that the child wants something that they cannot have and therefore I'm not going to give in and sometimes they continue to cry until we're finished even after we're out the store but we as parents have to put our foot down and when no means no that's what it means no 0 Likes
MC

Mavis posted October 8

A 4 year old can understand instructions,somewhat. The nest times are when there is no tantrum. As a mom you would need to have a plan. A tantrum in this case is caused by your girl not wanting a'No' for an answer. The question is is she like that whenever you say,NO' to her or its mostly about candy. Either way the tantrum is anger, 'cause her expectations were not met. When you are home, train her on whats expected. Let her know why you say no at times. and practice this her. Lets say her name is Jean. You say,"Jean, whenever I say no to you its not because I am being mean. You're becoming a big girl, and very soon you'will be going to First grade( You say something that appeals to her but is true). At school you will have to follow rules and order. You are not going to do everything you want to do, even when it's not wrong. There is rules and expectations in life. Home is the perfect place to practice that." Then tell her you guys are going to practice the No thing. She asks for something, you say No, at least explain why. Then you teach her how to respond. Then when you are in public that will be easy somewhat :) 0 Likes
MF

Maggie posted October 14

Unfortunately you have to let her cry and not give in, every time you give in you're telling her it's okay to throw a tantrum in order to get candy. 0 Likes
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