My daughter has started lying - help!

Jacklyn posted October 24, 2019

My daughter just learned how to lie. How do I get her to be honest with me and show her that it’s wrong?

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Carla posted October 24, 2019

When my kids started lying, the first thing I learned not to do was to acknowledge that they were lying. If I knew what they were saying wasn’t the truth or I could tell from their facial expressions that they were lying, I would just stress how important it is to tell the truth and ask them again. Then, when they were truthful with me in difficult situations (like when my daughter broke my glasses, when my son hid my cell phone under his bed, and when each of them were truthful about not brushing their teeth), I would praise them for telling the truth and tell them how much I appreciated their honesty with me.

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Nathalia posted October 24, 2019

Setting a good example for your child is really important, too. They watch you very closely, and so if you’re telling them how important it is not to lie and then they catch you lying to someone, they WILL call you on it and you’ll find yourself in a sticky situation. My daughter also embarrassed me quite a bit at one point by telling me I was lying in front of a friend who I made an excuse to about something. Watch out!

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Kori posted October 24, 2019

I understand how you feel as lying is something that I cannot tolerate. Children are still in learning mode which makes them great students. Explain to your daughter why lying is wrong, how it affects people and situations and implement consequences to impact change in that behavior. There are also great reading materials that can help. Lying Up a Storm is a good children's book and Why Kids Lie is a great read for parents.

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Maggie posted October 25, 2019

When I caught my son in a lie I told him his nose would grow like pinocchio's (he was little enough to believe me). It helped for a while because when I noticed he would like, I would point out I saw something strange with his nose and he would come clean right away.

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Regina posted October 29, 2019

When I caught my grandson in a lie I use they boy that cried wolf story,and I let him believe that story for awhile,then he asked me how long would it take to change thing around I told him it’s up to you,it last a year

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Aundria posted October 29, 2019

Young children do not have the cognitive ability to lie. For example, if you ask the color of the sky and they say red, they truly believe it's red. It is not a lie because their mind has not fully develop to comprehend what is true or false. Also, if we ask our children and we already know the "truth," we only set ourselves to get upset.

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Carina posted October 29, 2019

If you absolutely know your child is lying, maybe you don’t need to be emotional about it. The more upset you become, the more likely the child will stick to their story. If the lies are about little things, you could practice laughing it off as a phase. Your child is not turning into a pathological liar, she is testing boundaries and her effect on others. :)

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My daughter has started lying - help!

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