TOUGH TOPICS

Opinions on spanking kids?

My husband and I are trying to find the best way to discipline our sons. My husband was raised in a family that spanked children, but I was not. I think because I was never spanked, I really don’t feel okay with spanking my kids. Moms, help please! Ideas on ways to discipline, and also feedback on whether or not spanking is still a thing nowadays would be amazing. Thank you!

0 Likes 7 Replies

SP

Silva posted September 12

This was something my family struggled with, too! My husband and I were raised very differently. We fought a lot about what was and wasn’t appropriate, and it was hard having those arguments after one of us had disciplined our daughter in a way the other didn’t agree with. The decision we landed on was to spank, but very rarely and only as a last resort. 0 Likes
JN

Julia posted September 12

In my opinion, spanking is never okay. My partner and I were also raised in families with different parenting styles, but we’ve come to an agreement that these are our children and we don’t need to do things the same way our parents did. We get to make our own decisions. So spanking is something we absolutely do not do. It feels out of date to us. 1 Like
MC

Maureen posted September 12

Children are new to everything we teach them, including acceptable behaviors. It requires constant work, continuous teaching and complete diligence for parents to successfully implement discipline measures that are effective. Growing up, my mother had a strong voice and the elevation of her tone was enough to capture our attention, resulting in an immediate change of our behavior. That too works at times for us, however we sometimes have to take items from children as a consequence of misbehaving. The key is to stand on your decision without giving in. Spanking is not necessary and should not be the default in discipline method. 1 Like

Yael posted September 17

It is not ok to spank a child. Children learn the behavior. I know I have never spanked my children. As a result, they are fine gentlemen everyone trusts and respects. Talk to your children and reason with them rather than spanking them. 1 Like
SG

Stephanie posted September 17

In my opinion, spanking creates an atmosphere of fear and not respect. They’ll fear your reaction more than the actual consequences. As parents, we should be able to communicate with our children why what they did was wrong and build trust and comfort versus fear and an “mom/dad is gonna kill me” feeling. 1 Like
LP

Laine posted September 17

If you are asking if spanking may get a child to do what you are asking them to do temporarily then it may work. It will also erode their self-confidence and build an atmosphere of mistrust. Some kids will react to this by lasing out even more and becoming rebellious, Some will become sneaky. In most cases kids simply do not understand or have the impulse control to respond appropriately and hurting them only adds to their confusion. They are already dealing with taking in and processing a lot of information and need to feel that their caretakers can be trusted in order to develop confidently. Most instructions - verbal and physical (as in remove them from the situation) will need to repeated many many many times before a child gets it simply because their brains and impulse control are not fully developed. But they will develop faster if a child feel safe. 0 Likes
LR

Leah posted September 29

There are so many effective ways of disciplining children without spanking them. Redirect behavior immediately, remain consistent, take away toys/favorite items for a predetermined amount of time or simply talk. It's important that both parent's are on the same page concerning discipline. It is helpful that you support one another in discipline methods as a united team. 0 Likes
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