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BEHAVIOR & DEVELOPMENT

My mother-in-law says I'll spoil my infant by holding her too much. True?

Whenever my mother-in-law is around, she always tells me to put the baby down because I’ll spoil her by holding her too much. Is this true? What do you think?

1 Like 22 Replies

SB

Shauna posted March 2

Spoiling a newborn? Unlikely. Hold her as much as you’d like mama. Babies need attention! 0 Likes
SM

Stacie posted March 2

You do you! I mean respectfully disagree with your MIL and don’t hold her every second of the day (not that you are), but you know how to meet your baby’s needs. 0 Likes
MO

Mercedes posted March 3

Its ok to hol ,love and comfort but not overdo. 0 Likes
MO

Mercedes posted March 3

Granda is trying to help 0 Likes
CT

Cleo posted March 3

I don’t feel that you’re spoiling your baby one thing I do know is when you’re holding your baby you’re giving your baby that mommy and me time you’re allowing your baby to get to know you to know your Smeal to know your field to know your love people really don’t understand that the only thing they think of is the baby will be spoiled but the baby need you very close 0 Likes

Carli posted March 3

No way. You cannot spoil a newborn by holding them. They are used to being one with you.. 0 Likes
M1

Mom posted March 3

So there is going to come a time when you are going to start to put her into her crib vs sleeping with you. Or a time where she doesn’t want to walk just to be held or held even until they go to sleep upwards toward age 5. Showing your children that you love them is extremely imperative. Children being held, one on one emotional development is a pet of how they grow to become well balanced. She is speaking from her experience with good intentions I’m sure. But this is your child. And in that light you have to know the things your child needs for comfort. Try to balance out rules ( not for now) so that you won’t have a hard time later on. Shower them with love, and patience 1 Like

Jenifer posted March 3

You can not hold your baby too much. However, if you don't allow some time independant from your body they will depend on you and your body to regulate theirs. Time down playing allows your baby to explore using his/her own body and figuring out they can work their body. I find playing on the ground with young infants, being close enough to touch if they reach out, allows them the comfort of my presence yet the independance to use their own body. 0 Likes
KM

Kristine posted March 3

Absolutely not. Holding a baby as often as you can helps parents form a secure bond and secure attachment with their child. Securely attached babies use use their caregiver/parents as a secure base from which to explore their environment. Attachment is a close emotional bond between two people. Bonding is a close connection, especially a physical bond, between parents and their newborn shortly after birth. Therefore, babies need to be held as much as possible by their caregivers to help form a secure attachment with their child. Babies do not have the cognitive skills to understand being spoiled. Parents and caregivers need to hold their children to help support their social and emotional needs. 0 Likes

Mina posted March 3

There are many ways to spoil a newborn and a child, but hugging kissing and a loving a child and a newborn never is spoiling you should give as much hug and love for Newport 0 Likes

Mina posted March 3

I meant a newborn 0 Likes
FV

Frances posted March 3

how old is your baby does she/he need to seat along, crawl, and explore their world to feel the touch of other objects so be careful with the holding babies need to explore their world 0 Likes
NF

Nelda posted March 3

We fall in love with the little ones but sometimes is best to put them on the cribs to sleep, then you can use that time for yourself remember they don’t sleep for very long period of time now the baby won’t get used to you holding all the time and now you can catch up with things around the house 0 Likes

Cynthia Borjon posted March 8

not at all 0 Likes
SB

Shari posted March 9

I do the same thing and his father tells me to put him down or that he's just trying to talk. I cant ignore my boy. You and I are in the same boat. Wish I had some answers as well 0 Likes

Heather posted March 17

Your actually teaching your baby, when you hold her and talk to her she developing, and learning she can trust you ♥️ 0 Likes

Channel posted March 24

THIS IS TRUE. My grandma told me the same. My daughter will be there and most nights she can’t sleep unless she’s on top of me. I love it though. I think it’s important to always let the baby know you’re there. It depends on if you want your baby to be that close to you/ if you want your baby to have a sense of independence. It’s okay to put your baby down, even if she cries (and you’ve done everything you can to ensure she’s okay). 0 Likes

Channel posted March 24

I mean my daughter will be three this year 0 Likes
AB

Aliza posted June 2

No. Hold her as much as you want. Every mother has her own way of doing things. Enjoy this time and hold her as much as you want!! 0 Likes
SB

Samantha posted June 16

It is your baby. And the baby is going to grow fast. Enjoy it. 0 Likes
ML

Michelle posted June 16

As a childcare provider for 40 years I want to tell you we (childcare) can not hold your baby all day. If you are going to take your baby to childcare it is something to consider....If you are going to be home and not work.....Hold that little one all day...."they" say you can not spoil a baby.......I add to that "but you can create alot of bad habits" with that constant holding. When she is not being held she might be crying which will make you hurt inside.... Soon she will need to explore her world....Your mother-in law to me is trying to maybe head off some problems. This mother-in-law keeps her mouth shut on babies. 0 Likes

Lillian posted June 19

It gets harder to hold the baby as they get bigger. You don’t want to limit your baby by holding her and not letting her be independent from you. They need to move around on their own. Having said that in some cultures the mother’s carry their babies in carriers all day as they work. I didn’t carry my baby around only when needed, and he turned out just fine. Practice putting the baby down sometimes, and when your mother in law visits have the baby down and had it to her when she’s there. Who knows she might enjoy holding her! 0 Likes
Me